Read time: 2.5 minutes
One of the biggest rewards from starting my entire online presence – this Newsletter, the website, the LinkedIn posts, and the consulting/mentorship – is that I get to meet interesting people online or over the phone who I otherwise would never have known existed.
And through the phone consultations that I provide to clinicians I have found that a great many of us have a common shared humanity.
We are not so different after all.
Take stock as you read this: no matter where you live, your upbringing, your class level as a child vs now, your specialty and profession, etc. – I’ll bet that you still struggle with many of the existential concerns that humans have struggled with for all time:
- How do I find meaning in my daily life?
- What do I want to do with my time?
- What sort of person should I be?
- Where should I live?
- How can I create/maintain close personal relationships?
Help is out there
The reality is that we all grapple with issues like this throughout our lives, but some of us glide past them.
Whereas a few with an inclination for analysis, introspection, and self-reflection, will constantly find themselves in turmoil somehow.
The vast majority of us usually face most of these issues in adolescence and young adulthood – the times where we exercise choice.
But many of us in medicine will have extended that period farther into adulthood, into our 30’s and sometimes 40’s. And in medicine, we have many intervals of training at which we might find ourselves at a crossroads: the transition from college to medical school, medical school to residency, residency to fellowships vs jobs, etc.
I was lucky enough to have this week chatted with an individual who was in such a place.
He is facing the mighty decision of “what kind of a life he should live?”
And since he was blessed, or cursed like some of us can be, to be one of those highly curious and introspective persons, he is struggling with some decisions.
Shared humanity
There are people out there that understand your plight if only you might allow them.
Stop thinking you are so unique and special that only a small slice of mankind could ever understand you; we are more alike than different.
We share enough of our humanity with others that a great many of us have something to offer to those around us.
We can all be teachers, mentors, confidants, peers to people in different fields from different parts of the country (or the world).
But first you have to humbly offer to hear their story and humbly subvert your own unique and special life circumstance that made you who you are to offer advice and thoughtful consideration.
I’ve previously written about the challenges of Where to Look for Mentors in Medicine:
Most clinicians have spent so much time focused on moving forward on the path of medicine that they have indoctrinated themselves into a certain expectation about how they can and, moreover, should spend their time.
Most just keep going; it’s rare for someone in their 30’s and early 40’s to actively throttle back after having redlined for a decade to make it this far.
Moreover, almost everyone you know has been through the same indoctrination by their over-worked and out-of-shape mentors.
Not everyone you work with will be willing or able to hear you out and offer their unbiased perspective.
Not everyone wants to contemplate a path different than their own.
Very few people will care to argue against their own position in order to help you through your situation.
Even if they went through the same dilemma you face now, they might lack the self-reflection necessary to consider having made a different choice.
But you won’t know until you’ve tried them out.
Everyone has something to offer if you let them.
It’s unfortunate that so many hide the true expression of who they are behind the baggage of their past choices.
Make yourself available to others because you have something to offer.
Seek out help from everyone you can because you might share more than you think.
Whenever you’re ready, here are 2 ways I can help:
1) Let’s talk through what choosing your own path through medicine looks like. Over the phone, confidential, free:
https://calendly.com/tonyvullo/20min
2) Free Guides and Resources to Help You Reclaim Your Time and Autonomy:
